“I Thought It Was Just Me”: What I Learned About Anxiety at 14
I used to think I was just bad at life. That was the only way I could explain it. Everyone else seemed to be handling things—lessons, friends, school trips, parents, decisions. I felt like I was always behind, even when I was technically doing okay.
When I was 14, I started getting stomach aches before school. Not just butterflies—real pain. I’d sit at the end of my bed in the morning, fully dressed, not quite able to stand up. Sometimes I’d pace around. Sometimes I’d lie back down and tell myself I just needed five more minutes. Sometimes I’d cry and not really know why.
I didn’t know to call it anxiety. I just thought something was wrong with me.
I was good at hiding it. I got good marks, didn’t get into trouble, laughed at the right times. But inside, I was constantly scanning for something to go wrong. A pop quiz. Someone asking me a question I didn’t know the answer to. A friend going quiet and me assuming I’d upset them. My parents arguing in the kitchen. I carried all of it like it was mine to fix.
I never told anyone. I didn’t want to make …